Robert and the German Chocolate Cake

I pride myself in being hospitable.

I love to have people join us at our dining room table, or in our kitchen to eat food and laugh while tipping back a glass of milk or wine. I tell people if you need a place to meet...consider our house. We love to have company. 

I’m such a generous person.
 
But last Sunday gave me pause.  It was the last day of Thanksgiving break, I still had much to accomplish and I wanted to spend some time relaxing after church.  

Like every Sunday.  Robert was at church. He’s been going there longer than my family.  Robert is a gentle man from the South. He is passionate about helping people in whatever way he can.  He collects pretty rocks and likes coffee and sweets.  He is not afraid to work but, there are few jobs he can do on his own. He is passionate about spreading the love of Jesus and gently preaches to all meets.  He is a storyteller that can’t read even though he is passionate about the written word.  Robert spent much of his adult life homeless and only found a place to call home about five years ago.  

Robert likes people and trusts they will keep their word.

Last Sunday, when we slid into our pew as the service began, my husband told me that he had just learned it was Robert’s fifty-fifth birthday.  “Let’s invite him to lunch at our house after church.”

We were planning a simple breakfast-type lunch  (bacon, eggs, pancakes) the kind of food Robert usually  likes.  I said, “Sure, of course...if we do it fast, it can't take to long; I have a lot of things to do.”  

After church we asked Robert over.  “No”, he said.  "I don’t want to bother anyone.  People say they want to do something and then just rush to finish as fast as they can or they cancel plans with me if something better comes along.  I'm just tired of getting my hopes up. I'm not going to celebrate my birthday anymore. I thought I had plans but now everyone has backed out. I'm just tired of it", he said shaking his head.

We hung around church for a while to give Robert a chance to think about joining us.  Finally, he consented.  He’d come over.  But only for a bit.  He really did not want to be around people and drag them down when he was grumpy.  We asked him what kind of cake he wanted.  The reply was German Chocolate.

We stopped at the store on the way home.  Bought a cake, and had “Happy Birthday, Robert” written on it.   That cheered him a bit but, not much.

Eventually, breakfast/lunch was over, candles had been lit, and wishes made.  I gave him a rock that I had around the house for the past 20 years.  An artist had carved a dolphin into it. His face brightened a bit. None-the-less he wanted to leave, to go home and be left alone.  We packaged the left over cake and my husband drove him home.

Kitchen are a place where the real stuff of life happens, friendships are deepened, stories are told, lives shared.  Yet, my first response was let’s make it quick. I have things to do.The very words others had used in one way or another to let Robert know he wasn’t all that important to them. 

Ouch!

I don’t know if we made much of a difference in Roberts day but, he made a difference in mine.  He reminded me that hospitality has no room for selfishness.